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A Grieving Mom’s Surprising Correspondence

With Her Deceased Adult Daughter

Letters From The Ungrateful Dead, by Deborah Shouse, book cover 1a 375.jpg

Three years ago my adult daughter Hilee died of an overdose of meth and fentanyl. For months after Hilee’s death, I was trapped in unbending sorrow, numbness, and disbelief. Then a grief therapist advised me to write letters to Hilee. And to have Hilee write back to me.

Initially, the concept of writing to my deceased child seemed impossible. Still, the idea was a small light in my dark, bleak heart. One morning, I awoke early and I wrote to her. I spilled my sorrow onto the page. When I was out of words, I closed my eyes, took a breath, and listened. And I heard my daughter’s voice…

Deborah Shouse

“The exchanges in this trove are astonishing in their frankness, earnest in their emotional depth, and frequently as surprising in their wry humor as they are inspiring in their worldly wisdom. To anyone who doubts the potentially transformative power of symbolic correspondence between the living and dead I say, read this book. I will recommend it to mourners seeking a healing continuing bond with those they have loved and lost, as well as to the creative therapists walking alongside them.”

Robert A. Neimeyer, PhD, Director, Portland Institute for Loss and Transition and Editor, New Techniques of Grief Therapy

“A raw and, at times, humorous journey of a mother navigating her grief. As a parent who has also lost an adult child to addiction, I can relate to the need to stay connected to my child. This book provides a cathartic tool that could help the many parents veiled in the cycles of grief find some comfort.”

Gary Mendell, Founder & CEO, Shatterproof

 

“So many parents have joined a club that no one wants to be a part of the “my child died of an overdose” club. For these families, grief is often overshadowed by shame. This book will resonate with so many families, as it explores Deborah’s loss, her full-bodied love for her daughter, and the ever-lasting bond between the two of them, reminding the reader that addiction has nothing to do with morality…”

Emily Hage, President & CEO First Call Alcohol/Drug Prevention & Recovery

Deb Shouse, author of An Old Woman Walks Into A Bar 1a 1935px.jpg
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About

Deborah Shouse is a writer, speaker, editor, creativity catalyst, laughter facilitator, and dementia advocate.

 

She has an MBA but uses it only in emergencies.

 

Her writing has appeared in a variety of publications including The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Natural Awakenings, Reader’s Digest, Newsweek, Woman’s Day, Spirituality & Health, and The Chicago Tribune.

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